The man in the airplane lavatory...

A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the mens room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the mens room door, it was "OCCUPIED".
The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside. The buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR".
Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.
He carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!". Still curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters. He thought that was out of this world! The button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear. Well, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR".

When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!"
The nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the 'ATR' button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your penis is under your pillow!"

Anna Kournikova

Mother in Law

My mother-in-law is not known for her driving skills. So it came as no surprise when she was in another accident a couple of months back.
She came out of a side street and ran slam-bang into the town doctor's car.
"Oh Doc!" she exclaimed, "I'm so awfully sorry!"
"That's perfectly all right," he said, "It was all my fault."
"I don't know how you can say that. I'm sure it was entirely my fault."
"No, no, ma'am it was my fault. I'll take the entire blame."
"But why is it your fault? I ran into you, didn't I?"
"Yes, you did. But I saw you driving downtown half an hour ago, and I had plenty of time to take my car home and put it in the garage, but like a damn fool, I didn't do it!"

Top 10 Vehicles Owned by Billionaires

If your pockets were as deep as Bill Gates’ what would you drive? A new Porsche or a seven-year-old one? Each year, Forbes magazine compiles a list of the world’s wealthiest people. While awaiting the release of the 2006 list, which will be published in March, ForbesAutos.com wanted to give you a look at the vehicles driven by the billionaires at the top of the 2005 list. Check back in March when we update this list to reflect the Top 10 ranking for 2006.

The cars and trucks driven by those in the Top 10 of the 2005 Forbes list was, in short, shocking. You won’t find a Bugatti, Ferrari or BMW driven by these billionaires. But you will find a Lincoln, a Mazda, even a Dodge and Ford. It seems that for the super-rich, a vehicle is seen not as a status symbol, but as a means to an end in which to get from point A to point B. Status is something that these billionaires need not prove to others. In many cases, the people on our list prefer to live inconspicuously, avoiding the limelight at all costs. This might explain why many of their vehicles cost less than your own daily driver.