Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Fact or Crap?

George Lucas' STAR WARS has the largest number of credits, shown at the end of the show.

CRAP! They are known as closing credits, the 3? epic hours of "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," the credits did not seem to want to close.

It took five minutes for the names of all the actors, producers, editors, gaffers, grips, best boys, dialect coaches, wig makers and steelworkers to crawl by. Next came the less-familiar show-business occupations such as stable foreman, horse makeup artist, horseshoer and the two guys in charge of the chain mail.

At eight minutes, moviegoers still present were watching a scroll of completely inscrutable titles such as "wrangler manager" and "compositing inferno artist." Of course, the caterer had to be immortalized, too.

Finally, 9 minutes and 33 seconds after they began, the closing credits came to a close.

Other facts:


"Nosferatu," 1922
1 minute, 35 seconds

"The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," 2003
9 minutes, 33 seconds


"Star Wars," 1977
143 names

"The Matrix: Revolutions," 2003
701 names

Saturday, April 14, 2007

My Impressions On Life

If anyone ever told you life was a rollercoaster or that it was full of unexpected "wonderful" surprises, they lied. I bet if you you found those people and looked them in the eyes you could see deep within them what they really meant and why they said these false statements. Aw she is just a poor little girl what she doesn't know wont hurt her. And what they really mean is that life sucks, hits you in the worst places at the wrong times. Can't censor that, anyway you try to, you end up using the worst of the real truth.

I learned this early on, when everyone was believing in Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny, i was planning how I was to die, and how unhappy i would be. Sure i may sound like a depressed, young, girl who has no idea in her mind what she's tlaking about. And maybe i dont. But think back to your childhood memories. Good stories, myths, and lies. That's all i think about. My family was not a picture perfect one, anything but. Even when my parents yelled and had their fights i couldnt know what they were saying. They both knew Hebrew, and thats what they spoke when fighting. When i was little i would always tell them please dont get divorced. And being the perfect parents they were they would always respond with a simple, that'll never happen, and go on with their fighting.

Friends are a different matter. They lie easily, and also trust too easily. They can easily tell you their whole life story or not tell you anything at all. Friends are tricky, especially when you are young. All the jealousy and games friends play just isn't worth it i had decided. Sure i go to dances and movies and things. But lets say im a very good actress. I look like im having the time of my life but deep down id rather be burning in hell. Friends can't live up to their meaning, they can't be with you through all your toughest moments. They cant even be with you through your weakest. So i decided friends were things i could do without.

Then there are boyfriends. Boyfriends might be nice for some girls. For me they were another excuse for more lies and excuses. Sure i had boyfriends and went on dates, thatwas just my actress comeing out in me. I pretended i liked them and enjoyed my time but i really just wanted them to drop me off and to disappear into nothing. I dont hate them because they never call or make another date. I hate them because they simply dont matter to me. Men, women, boys and girl are all the same. Why should boyfriends be any different. Just cause u got a pretty face and good manners they come upto you acting fly and putting their lines all over you making you their property to keep. Thats another thing that disgusts me, they "real estate" they own. They have a girlfriend so now he owns her 24/7? Please get a life, or better yet let me have one. If he wants her to be only his then he should be only hers. It should go both ways but of course they dont tihnk that way. They are stuck in their ways from the 1800's and perhaps always will be.

Life sure has made an impression on me but overall i guess i turned out alright. I get good grades and am ok on the social scale. Maybe sometime ill have a husband and live happily ever after. Maybe in a miraculous world when these tihngs actually happen. Maybe if i was in heaven or a mystical land. But for now i am on the earth that god created, a simple non-hectic life that he chose for me to live. And that i shall do until i meet him again and curse him off for giving me this stupid life. God Speed.

By Nataliae J Patrick

Friday, March 30, 2007

Kid Wisdom

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" Don't answer.

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.

Stay away from prunes.

Don't pull your dad's finger when he tells you to.

Never leave your three-year-old brother in the same room as your school assignment.

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.

Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

A Woman's Poem

He didn't like the casserole

And he didn't like my cake.

He said my biscuits were too hard...

Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right

He didn't like the stew,

I didn't mend his socks

The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer

I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him...

Like his MOMMA used to do.


Sunday, January 14, 2007

From Lithuania, a plea

Much ado was made in Paris several years ago about the symbolic "Polish plumber" who was coming to steal jobs from les français. Now, it's Eastern Europeans who are lamenting the loss of not only plumbers, but all service workers.

"If you want some repairs in your apartment, you can't find anyone," says Rita Stankeviciute, a sportswriter in Vilnius, Lithuania's capital. "It's ridiculous. Lines in the grocery stores are longer. When I used to need a taxi, it was always three minutes. Now it's 'In an hour.'"

As Western Europeans fret about a new wave of Eastern Europeans flooding their countries - this time from Romania and Bulgaria, the EU's newest members - those nations have an opposite concern: how to bring those immigrants home.

For a small country like Lithuania, with a low birthrate but high rates of immigration, alcoholism, and suicide, the situation is particularly urgent. The former communist nation of 4 million has seen at least 400,000 people migrate west, whether to work construction in Dublin, pick strawberries in southern Spain, or conduct research in Scandinavia.

"We must invite them back," says Zilvinas Beliauskas, director of the government- supported Returning Lithuanian Information Center. "We should consider them an integral part of the nation."

Agencies such as the International Organization for Migration (IOM) have also joined the repatriation movement. IOM's Vilnius branch recently unveiled its Lithuanian-language "Independent Migration Information Center" website to separate fact from fiction for both Lithuanians contemplating migration abroad and those mulling a return home.

It's the first such IOM site among new EU members, says Audra Sipaviciene, who heads the Vilnius office.

"If a migrant's been gone for five years, sometimes they're very pessimistic about the job situation back home, that 'Oh, nothing's changed,' " says Ms. Sipaviciene. "But it is very different. So if there's good information, all in one place, perhaps they'll return."

Deimante Doksaite, a young Lithuanian journalist who recently cofounded Lietuviams.com to keep the diaspora connected with home, had a slightly different goal: show compassion.

"Immigration is the issue everyone here talks about," says Ms. Doksaite. Yet migrants "don't get enough attention from Lithuania, so we wanted to … let them know someone here cares. And this is the fastest, easiest, and cheapest way to do it."

In a region where seemingly everyone has a sibling or neighbor working in the West, similar websites have also sprouted for Poles, Latvians, and Russians.

Economic migration westward, both legal and illegal, has been a constant since the Berlin Wall crumbled 17 years ago. Some politicians in the economically ravaged East have been reluctant to stem the tide. The billions of dollars of remittances sent home annually to the region have been a boon, and the exodus has eased pressure to produce decent-paying jobs quickly. In fact, the migrants have allowed states to project, somewhat misleadingly, the image of having effectively tackled unemployment: In July, the EU said Estonia and Lithuania had recorded the largest drops in unemployment among all EU members.

But it's also become clear that just as the brain drain harms the national interest - as highly educated young professionals flee to fulfill their earning potential in wealthier countries - the disappearing working class is devastating local service industries, with shortages of construction workers, truck drivers, waitresses, and supermarket clerks.

To compensate, some employers in the region are now turning to laborers from Ukraine, Russia, Belarus, and Moldova. In Vilnius, where there's a fear of re-Russification, "Lithuania for Lithuanians" sentiment runs high.

But Poland, by far the largest of the new EU members, couldn't hold off any longer. In August, the Polish Labor Ministry announced it would no longer require work permits for farmworkers from the East arriving for seasonal work.

Some say higher salaries could bring back Poles, but that would also raise costs for employers, making them less competitive in international markets.

"It's my dream to return to Poland, but not for 30 percent of my salary," says economist Jacek Cukrowski, a regional adviser for the UN Development Program in Bratislava, Slovakia. "So many have gone west [that] to return, they might not have to receive equal pay, but certainly more than now."

In Lithuania, pay is only one factor, says Vida Bagdonaviciene, deputy director general of the state Department of Lithuanians Living Abroad. She says that some Lithuanians may be turned off by the bureaucracy, corruption, and crime - the latter two often sensationalized by the media, she says. Or perhaps it's the gloominess. She says that one contented transplant in Dublin told her, "Irish people are always smiling and polite."

Lithuanian officials now study the Irish experience: Long a source of migration, Ireland gradually evolved into the economic "Emerald Tiger" and a destination target for migrants.

Mr. Beliauskas is a member of an interagency task force that the government created earlier this year to propose ways to recover some of the nation's human resources - while also tapping the experiences they've accrued abroad.

The group expects to convene its first meeting this month, proffering concrete ideas: small-business loans and special classes for young Lithuanians to reintegrate into schools - and for young adults, year-long scholarships to study or do research work in an institute.

On Lietuviams.com, much of the content is geared to life in Lithuania, such as tax policies, job prospects, and real-estate prices.

"Everything comes down to quality of life," says Ms. Bagdonaviciene. "Migrants have contact with their family and friends, and they're waiting for the signal that things have really gotten better here."

By: Jordan, Michael J., Christian Science Monitor, 1/10/2007


You can always tell a man who is a non-conformist, because he looks just like every other non-conformist.

My secretary stopped answering the phone. She said, "It's always for you."

A better deadline for our taxes than April 15 . . . how about February 31?

Goodbye, tension ... Hello, pension!

God gives every bird it's food ... but he doesn't throw it into its nest.

Hindsight is an exact science.

Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

Forbidden fruit creates many jams.

History repeats itself anyway...
plagiarism saves time.

2 people in every 1 is a schizophrenic.

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

Our government really takes care of us.
They even give us free income tax forms!

Medicine may be the only profession that labors incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence.

The world has seen many spectacular advances in communications (with satellites and all), but the quickest is still the "wink".

The reason that there were fewer accidents in the horse and buggy days is that drivers didn't have to depend wholly on their own intelligence.

The County Water Department is hiring!
Applicants must be rude and be able to keep customers on hold for at least 45 minutes.

Utility is when you have one telephone;
Luxury is when you have two and Paradise is when you have none.

It's astonishing how politicians never say anything, yet always insist they're being

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

People seem to get nostalgic about a lot of things they weren't so crazy about the
first time around.

At graduation time, millions of graduates go out to seek their fortunes, while millions of parents try to rebuild theirs.

The laws barring felons the right to vote will gradually be changed as the politicians begin getting paroled.

These days, if you have green money it's gone bad.

A pessimist is an optimist who's been to Las Vegas.

It's a wise father who burns all his old report cards.

Average oil company profits skyrocket.
Mission accomplished!

Things always look better when you can't see them.

Some people have all the commitment of a kamikaze pilot on his tenth mission.

If you want the last word in an argument, say, "You're right."

It's nice to be remembered, but it's safer to be forgotten.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would.

It's a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

One of the best things people can have up their sleeves is a funny bone.

Why don't Spanish channels have English translations?

A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car.

What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth.

A lawyer is someone who writes an eighty-page document and calls it a brief!