Saturday, April 14, 2007

My Impressions On Life

If anyone ever told you life was a rollercoaster or that it was full of unexpected "wonderful" surprises, they lied. I bet if you you found those people and looked them in the eyes you could see deep within them what they really meant and why they said these false statements. Aw she is just a poor little girl what she doesn't know wont hurt her. And what they really mean is that life sucks, hits you in the worst places at the wrong times. Can't censor that, anyway you try to, you end up using the worst of the real truth.

I learned this early on, when everyone was believing in Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny, i was planning how I was to die, and how unhappy i would be. Sure i may sound like a depressed, young, girl who has no idea in her mind what she's tlaking about. And maybe i dont. But think back to your childhood memories. Good stories, myths, and lies. That's all i think about. My family was not a picture perfect one, anything but. Even when my parents yelled and had their fights i couldnt know what they were saying. They both knew Hebrew, and thats what they spoke when fighting. When i was little i would always tell them please dont get divorced. And being the perfect parents they were they would always respond with a simple, that'll never happen, and go on with their fighting.

Friends are a different matter. They lie easily, and also trust too easily. They can easily tell you their whole life story or not tell you anything at all. Friends are tricky, especially when you are young. All the jealousy and games friends play just isn't worth it i had decided. Sure i go to dances and movies and things. But lets say im a very good actress. I look like im having the time of my life but deep down id rather be burning in hell. Friends can't live up to their meaning, they can't be with you through all your toughest moments. They cant even be with you through your weakest. So i decided friends were things i could do without.

Then there are boyfriends. Boyfriends might be nice for some girls. For me they were another excuse for more lies and excuses. Sure i had boyfriends and went on dates, thatwas just my actress comeing out in me. I pretended i liked them and enjoyed my time but i really just wanted them to drop me off and to disappear into nothing. I dont hate them because they never call or make another date. I hate them because they simply dont matter to me. Men, women, boys and girl are all the same. Why should boyfriends be any different. Just cause u got a pretty face and good manners they come upto you acting fly and putting their lines all over you making you their property to keep. Thats another thing that disgusts me, they "real estate" they own. They have a girlfriend so now he owns her 24/7? Please get a life, or better yet let me have one. If he wants her to be only his then he should be only hers. It should go both ways but of course they dont tihnk that way. They are stuck in their ways from the 1800's and perhaps always will be.

Life sure has made an impression on me but overall i guess i turned out alright. I get good grades and am ok on the social scale. Maybe sometime ill have a husband and live happily ever after. Maybe in a miraculous world when these tihngs actually happen. Maybe if i was in heaven or a mystical land. But for now i am on the earth that god created, a simple non-hectic life that he chose for me to live. And that i shall do until i meet him again and curse him off for giving me this stupid life. God Speed.

By Nataliae J Patrick


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